How to calm yourself down – 15 Things to Do When You’re Anxious or Angry


15 Things to Do When You’re Anxious or Angry

We all worry and get upset from time to time. It’s a normal part of life, right? But what happens when that anxiety or anger takes over, and you can’t calm down? Being able to calm yourself in the moment is often easier said than done.

That’s why having a few strategies you’re familiar with can help you when you’re feeling anxious or angry. Here are some helpful, actionable tips you can try the next time you need to calm down.

1. Breathe

“Breathing is the number one and most effective technique for reducing anger and anxiety quickly,” says Scott Dehorty, LCSW-C, of Delphi Behavioral Health.

When you’re anxious or angry, you tend to take quick, shallow breaths. Dehorty says this sends a message to your brain, causing a positive feedback loop reinforcing your fight-or-flight response. That’s why taking long, deep calming breaths disrupts that loop and helps you calm down.

There are various breathing techniques to help you calm down. One is three-part breathing. Three-part breathing requires you to take one deep breath in and then exhale fully while paying attention to your body.

Once you get comfortable with deep breathing, you can change the ratio of inhalation and exhalation to 1:2 (you slow down your exhalation so that it’s twice as long as your inhalation).

Practice these techniques while calm so you know how to do them when you’re anxious.

2. Admit that you’re anxious or angry

Allow yourself to say that you’re anxious or angry. When you label how you’re feeling and allow yourself to express it, the anxiety and anger you’re experiencing may decrease.

3. Challenge your thoughts

Part of being anxious or angry is having irrational thoughts that don’t necessarily make sense. These thoughts are often the “worse-case scenario.” You might find yourself caught in the “what if” cycle, which can cause you to sabotage a lot of things in your life.

When you experience one of these thoughts, stop and ask yourself the following questions:

  • Is this likely to happen?
  • Is this a rational thought?
  • Has this ever happened to me before?
  • What’s the worst that can happen? Can I handle that?

After you go through the questions, it’s time to reframe your thinking. Instead of “I can’t walk across that bridge. What if there’s an earthquake, and it falls into the water?” tell yourself: “There are people that walk across that bridge every day, and it has never fallen into the water.”

4. Release the anxiety or anger

Dehorty recommends getting the emotional energy out with exercise. “Go for a walk or run. [Engaging] in some physical activity [releases] serotonin to help you calm down and feel better.”

However, you should avoid physical activity that includes the expression of anger, such as punching walls or screaming.

“This has been shown to increase feelings of anger, as it reinforces the emotions because you end up feeling good as the result of being angry,” Dehorty explains.

5. Visualize yourself calm

This tip requires you to practice the breathing techniques you’ve learned. After taking a few deep breaths, close your eyes and picture yourself calm. See your body relaxed, and imagine yourself working through a stressful or anxiety-causing situation by staying calm and focused.

By creating a mental picture of what it looks like to stay calm, you can refer back to that image when you’re anxious.

6. Think it through

Have a mantra to use in critical situations. Just make sure it’s one that you find helpful. Dehorty says it can be, “Will this matter to me this time next week?” or “How important is this?” or “Am I going to allow this person/situation to steal my peace?”

This allows the thinking to shift focus, and you can “reality test” the situation.

“When we’re anxious or angry, we become hyper-focused on the cause, and rational thoughts leave our mind. These mantras give us an opportunity to allow rational thought to come back and lead to a better outcome,” Dehorty explains.

7. Listen to music

The next time you feel your anxiety level cranking up, grab some headphones and tune in to your favorite music. Listening to music can have a very calming effect on your body and mind.

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8. Change your focus

Leave the situation, look in another direction, walk out of the room, or go outside.

Dehorty recommends this exercise so you have time for better decision making. “We don’t do our best thinking when anxious or angry; we engage in survival thinking. This is fine if our life is really in danger, but if it isn’t life threatening, we want our best thinking, not survival instincts,” he adds.

9. Relax your body

When you’re anxious or angry, it can feel like every muscle in your body is tense (and they probably are). Practicing progressive muscle relaxation can help you calm down and center yourself.

To do this, lie down on the floor with your arms out by your side. Make sure your feet aren’t crossed and your hands aren’t in fists. Start at your toes and tell yourself to release them. Slowly move up your body, telling yourself to release each part of your body until you get to your head.

10. Write it down

If you’re too angry or anxious to talk about it, grab a journal and write out your thoughts. Don’t worry about complete sentences or punctuation — just write. Writing helps you get negative thoughts out of your head.

You can take it one step further and make an action plan to continue staying calm once you’re done writing.

11. Get some fresh air

The temperature and air circulation in a room can increase your anxiety or anger. If you’re feeling tense and the space you’re in is hot and stuffy, this could trigger a panic attack.

Remove yourself from that environment as soon as possible and go outside — even if it’s just for a few minutes.

Not only will the fresh air help calm you down, but also the change of scenery can sometimes interrupt your anxious or angry thought process.

12. Fuel your body

If you’re hungry or not properly hydrated, many of these techniques won’t work. That’s why it’s important to slow down and get something to eat — even if it’s just a small snack.

13. Drop your shoulders

If your body is tense, there’s a good chance your posture will suffer. Sit up tall, take a deep breath, and drop your shoulders. To do this, you can focus on bringing your shoulder blades together and then down. This pulls your shoulders down. Take a few deep breaths. You can do this several times a day.

14. Have a centering object

When you’re anxious or angry, so much of your energy is being spent on irrational thoughts. When you’re calm, find a “centering object” such as a small stuffed animal, a polished rock you keep in your pocket, or a locket you wear around your neck.

Tell yourself that you’re going to touch this object when you’re experiencing anxiety or frustration. This centers you and helps calm your thoughts. For example, if you’re at work and your boss is making you anxious, gently rub the locket around your neck.

15. Identify pressure points to calm anger and anxiety

Going for a massage or getting acupuncture is a wonderful way to manage anxiety and anger. But it’s not always easy to find time in your day to make it happen. The good news is, you can do acupressure on yourself for instant anxiety relief.

This method involves putting pressure with your fingers or your hand at certain points of the body. The pressure releases the tension and relaxes your body.

One area to start with is the point where the inside of your wrist forms a crease with your hand. Press your thumb on this area for two minutes. This can help relieve tension.

14 Instant Ways to Calm Yourself Down

As a highly sensitive person (as defined by Elaine Aron in her bestseller The Highly Sensitive Person), I’m easily overwhelmed or over-aroused. As such, I am always looking for ways to calm down. Here are some techniques I have compiled over the years. Some of them I picked up in Aron’s book, some as part of the mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) program I participated in, and others in Lauren Brukner’s fantastic book The Kids’ Guide to Staying Awesome and in Control (but they work for adults, too).

1. Get to the Pressure Point With Hand Massage

I learned this one in both the MBSR program and in Brukner’s book. What’s great about it is that you can do it while attending a lecture, listening to your kids fight, or sitting at your desk working. No one will notice. Simply use the thumb of one hand and press around the palm of the other hand. It’s very soothing.

2. Relieve Stress and Ground Yourself With a Palm Push

By pushing your palms together and holding for 5 to 10 seconds, you give your body “proprioceptive input,” according to Brukner, which “lets your body know where it is in space.” I like this one because it reminds me of tree position in yoga, which is the last of the standing series postures in Bikram yoga. The palm push is like a mini, portable tree position I can pull out anytime to calm down.

3. Combat Stressful Situations by Closing Your Eyes

Aron says that 80 percent of sensory stimulation comes in through the eyes, so shutting them every now and then gives your brain a much-needed break. She also says that she has found that highly sensitive persons do better if they can stay in bed with their eyes closed for nine hours. We don’t have to be sleeping. Just lying in bed with our eyes closed allows for some chill time that we need before being bombarded with stimulation.

4. Sigh to Help Yourself Be Fully Present in the Moment

During the MBSR class, we would take a few mindful sighs between transitioning from one person speaking to another. You breathe in to a count of five through your mouth, and then you let out a very loud sigh, the sound you hear your teenager make. I was always amazed at how powerful those small sighs were to adjust my energy level and focus.

5. Do This Monkey Stretch to Release Tension

In this exercise, you bring your hands (arms extended) in front of you, then bring the arms down. Then you bring your arms (still extended) to your side, and then down. Finally you bring your arms all the way past your head and then swoop down, with your head dangling between your knees, and you hang out there for a second. This exercise is extremely effective at releasing the tension we hold in different parts of our body.

6. Give Yourself a 10-Second Hug to Boost Your Mood

Did you know that a 10-second hug a day can change biochemical and physiological forces in your body that can lower the risk of heart disease, combat stress, fight fatigue, boost your immune system, and ease depression? You can begin by giving yourself a hug. By squeezing your belly and back at the same time, you are again giving yourself proprioceptive input (letting your body know where you are in space), says Brukner, which can help stabilize you.

7. Stabilize Yourself With a Five-Second Wall Push

The wall push is especially beneficial for people with sensory integration issues. You simply push against the wall with flat palms and feet planted on the floor for 5 to 10 seconds. If you’ve ever experienced an earthquake, you can appreciate why this gesture is calming — placing the weight of our body against a solid, immobile surface and feeling the pull of gravity is stabilizing, even on a subconscious level.

8. Gain Power and Calm With a Superman Pose

If you do Bikram yoga, the Superman pose is basically the full Locust position (airplane position), except the arms and the hands are stretched out in front of you, not to the sides. You lie on your belly on the floor and extend your arms in front of you. At the same time, you extend your legs behind you and hold them straight out. Hold that pose for 10 seconds. It’s a great exercise if you are groggy, overexcited, distracted, or antsy.

9. Shake It Off and You’ll Free Yourself From Fear

Did you know that animals relieve their stress by shaking? Lots of animals like antelopes shake off their fear after being frozen in panic to escape a predator. In the MBSR program, we practiced shaking for about 15 minutes at a time. I can’t say it looked all that pretty, but neurologically, I do believe it was beneficial.

10. Inhale Deeply for a Relaxing Bubble Breath

My favorite exercise in Brukner’s book is the Bubble Breath, because it is so simple and calming. Here’s how to do it:

  • Breathe in for five seconds, out for five seconds.
  • Imagine you have a wand with a bubble on it. When you breathe out, be careful not to pop the bubble.
  • Place one flat palm on your heart, one flat palm on your belly.
  • Breathe in through your nose and hold your breath for five seconds.
  • Breathe out a large “bubble” through pursed lips, blow out for five seconds.

11. Pour a Few Drops of Lavender Essential Oil

There are different theories as how and why lavender oil calms you down. Some scientists believe that lavender stimulates the activity of brain cells in the amygdala (fear center) similar to the way some sedatives work. Others think molecules from essential oils interact in the blood with enzymes and hormones. Research backs its soothing results. A study published in the American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Medicine measured the responses of 17 cancer hospice patients to humidified essential lavender oil aromatherapy. Results reflected a positive change in blood pressure and pulse, pain, anxiety, depression, and sense of well-being. I sometimes use lavender oil to sleep better.

12. Hydrate With Water and Meditate on Water

During the workday, I will often walk a block over to a creek and follow the subtle current with my eyes. Maybe it is because as infants we emerged from water that it has the power to soothe. “Water helps in many ways,” writes Aron. “When overaroused, keep drinking it — a big glass of it once an hour. Walk beside some water, look at it, listen to it. Get into some if you can, for a bath or a swim. Hot tubs and hot springs are popular for good reasons.”

13. Music Therapy Heals the Body, Mind, and Soul

From the earliest days of civilization, music has been used to heal the body and soul, and to express what is difficult to articulate in words. Victor Hugo once said, “Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.” Therapists have tapped into the healing power of creative lyrics and the composition of notes to design music therapy programs for persons struggling with depression.

14. Reduce Anxiety With the Four-Square Breathing Exercise

A final breathing exercise to try is the “Four Square,” which I learned years ago to reduce anxiety:

  • Breathe in slowly to a count of four.
  • Hold the breath for a count of four.
  • Exhale slowly through pursed lips to a count of four.
  • Rest for a count of four (without taking any breaths).
  • Take two normal breaths.
  • Start over again with number one.

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How to Calm Yourself Down

When you get yourself in a fluster it can be very hard to calm yourself and to feel normal once again. The reality is though that being upset about something is unproductive and will do nothing other than make you feel uncomfortable – and it can even be unhealthy.

When you find yourself flustered – stressed, panicked, or angry – this means that you are experiencing the ‘fight or flight response’ in which your body is producing copious amounts of adrenaline. This in turn is a stimulant which speeds up your heart rate and uses up energy while placing a strain on your immune system. During this time you might find yourself shaking and you will experience an elevated blood pressure – all of which can make you more likely to suffer from a heart attack or stroke if you have other health conditions, and can make you more likely to feel tired or to suffer an illness such as a cold or flu.

Apart from anything else though, this adrenaline and panic/anger can also cloud your judgment and cause you to make poor judgments. When driving for instance this can make you more likely to have an accident, while if you are running around the house doing something then you are more likely to forget something. If you ruminate allowed on your panicking then you will likely frustrate other people and it’s somewhat antisocial. Finally if you are constantly stressed or angry then this will mean that you are less able to concentrate on what you are doing or to enjoy yourself and it can cause depression and other more serious psychological conditions if you allow it to carry on.

Thus, if you are the sort of person who’s always panicking and stressed you need to think about how you can go about changing this and calming yourself down. Fortunately there are some different ways that you can do this and there is likely to be at least one that works for you. Here we will look at how to calm down in the long term and in the short term.

Remove Yourself From the Situation

The first thing you need to do if you are still around the stressor is to remove yourself from the situation which will likely still be causing you to become worked up. For instance if you are in an argument with someone, then you should immediately leave the room so that they are no longer able to frustrate you. This can prevent the situation from escalating and can give you time and space to collect yourself. If you have a child who is having an argument with another child, or who is having a temper tantrum, then you should act fast by putting them in their room where there is no longer anything to make them angry.

Solve the Situation

Even better of course is to neutralize the situation somehow and to take away what it is that’s upsetting you. For instance if you are stressed out about something ugly in your line of site… just move it.

Realize the Futility

Another important thing to do is to realize that it’s pointless to get angry or stressed if there’s nothing you can do about it. Of course you know that deep down, but making a conscious effort to remind yourself of this fact can make all the difference.

For instance, to go back to the example of road rage – if someone should pull out in front of you or refuse your right of way, then remember that getting really angry inside the car and thinking about it for ages is only going to upset you more. You don’t benefit from this, and it won’t be to their detriment. Remember that rising above it is the best way to ‘win’ in this situation, and that their bad driving is their problem and will ultimately cause them more problems in future. Likewise if you’re worried that you left the oven on while you’re on holiday then unless you intend to fly back… just relax and forget it. And remember that you often think this and that it is actually psychologically unhealthy unless you stop ruminating on the subject.

Another thing to remember is that you’re upsetting other people. If something bad happens and you rant and rave or panic then you turn it into a big issue. The best thing you can do for the people you’re with is to just brush it under the carpet, smile and get on with your day.

See the Funny Side

It’s not always easy, but seeing the funny side in a situation is a great way to deflate it and to feel better. So try to think about how this would look if you were a third party – or even how funny it is that it made you that angry or that stressed.

Slow Your Breathing

Slowing down your breathing is a great way to help yourself relax as when you regulate your breaths your heart rate will follow suit and will also slow down. Concentrating on your breathing also gives you something else to think about other than what made you angry. Other good methods are to just close your eyes and to imagine a point in space, or to try repeating a manta (‘calm, calm, calm’) which focuses your mind on something placating rather than something stressful.

Long Term Solutions

If you find yourself constantly getting angry or stressed then you will need something slightly more permanent as a solution that will address the underlying causes (though the management skills listed above can help a lot too). One method that doctors may recommend is medication and this can help you to feel more relaxed and less stressed throughout the day. However this is not the best idea as these medications can often have a range of unpleasant side effects and leave you feeling detached and drowsy, or even with bouts of nausea.

Better is to use therapeutic techniques of which there are a couple…

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy is a form of therapy that focuses on the thoughts we have and how they dictate our emotions and our behaviors. The thoughts here are views like commands in a computer program, and by changing the contents of our thoughts it is thought that we will be able to change our behavior.

This is achieved first through ‘mindfulness’ which means listening to the contents of your thoughts and your ruminations and these will likely be things like ‘I can’t believe I let them get away with that’. Such thoughts are negative, and by being made aware of them you become aware of what’s causing the problem. Then using ‘cognitive restructuring’ you aim to replace those negative thoughts with more positive ones by thinking things like ‘there’s nothing I can do about it now’ and ‘it’s their problem, not mine’.


Biofeedback is a technique used by doctors and therapists that can teach an individual to be more in touch with their body and to eventually learn to control their body more closely. An example of biofeedback is using a heart rate monitor in order to get feedback about your heart rate, and this can be used to teach you to become better at calming down and controlling stress. Simply, you use the heart rate monitor in order to remember to monitor your levels of arousal, and when this gets beyond a certain point you then take steps to bring that number back down. By noting the values on the heart rate monitor you can then notice when you are successful in doing this, and that then tells you how to do it again in future. Eventually you will then know the exact impact that certain stimuli and certain management techniques have on your body, and you will be able to intuitive control your arousal levels at all times without the monitor.

Other Therapy

In some cases your anger and frustration may be a result of another underlying cause and using a therapist can help you to get to the bottom of this. If you are stressed in other areas of your life for instance, then this can cause you to more easily fly off the handle when something upsets you in your day-to-day life. In some cases it may even be a physical cause such as chronic pain, in which medication can help you to address the problem.

How to Instantly Calm Yourself in Stressful Situations

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~Victor Frankl

There’s a big lie we tell ourselves during stressful times.

It keeps us feeling lost, afraid, and unloved, like we’re being picked up and carried away helplessly by a storm.

Our heads can fill with scary images, words, and stories about the cause and who is to blame for our unwanted pain.

Sound familiar? If it does, you’re not alone. You’re normal. This is how humans biologically respond to stress.

So what’s the big lie?

The big lie is that we have no control over our stress response. Actually, we do. A lot of control.

I’ve struggled the hard way through my fair share of troubling times. I’ve experienced money and job issues, battled with health, and been pushed in challenging relationships.

But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is I grew up a highly sensitive person, who would internally react to almost anything that could be interpreted as negative.

Of the feelings above, I hopelessly sat at the “feel all of them” end of the scale.

That was until a particularly trying relationship caused me so much stress and anxiety that I became sick of my unconscious reactions, and vowed to do everything possible to stop it (or make it easier).

Through research and a lot of experimenting I created a practical way to calm myself down instantly anywhere, anytime, when a meditation cushion or reassuring book was out of reach.

The technique was so simple and powerful that it pulled me through a harrowing experience in that relationship, and has held me together in plenty of experiences since.

It’s easy to remember, has an instant effect on your mind body, and most importantly, is simple enough to be remembered and used when you’re going through the eye of your own stress storms.

How to Calm Yourself In Two Minutes

Take a moment right now to make yourself comfortable and try these four steps yourself:

1. Freeze yourself.

Remember the game you played as a child when you suddenly stopped mid-motion, like you were frozen in ice? Do that now. Halt your body parts, emotions, and thought processes. Think of yourself as a cartoon character that’s been hit with a stun gun. You can even make it a little dramatic if it helps.

2. Focus on your index finger.

(Skip to this if you find the first step difficult). For twenty to sixty seconds, concentrate solely on the back of your index finger. Let your mind and body be consumed by it.

Bring it closer to you. Study the rivets, creases, and those tiny little fingerprint lines. If your situation is noisy, let the sounds around you merge into a single background buzz, and let it fade out of your attention.

3. Take a conscious breath.

Let go of your focus and check back in with your body. Take a deep, conscious breath in, then let it go through your mouth, slowly and calmly, creating a wave of relaxation that starts in your chest and floats out through your being to the surface of your skin.

4. Look around consciously.

As you re-integrate with your surroundings, scan the scene in front of you. Remain as indiscriminate as possible with what you focus on the way you would when waking up in the morning.

Take conscious note of the thoughts that are trying to push back into your head and observe them with an attitude of curiosity.

How do you feel?

You might now feel a little more in touch with your senses, distanced from previous thoughts, and connected with the present moment.

Most importantly, you’ll recognize that the root of your discomfort is your thoughts. Everything else, like emotions, and physical discomfort, and pain, start there.

If you’re having difficulty slowing down the mind at the beginning, try this: If you meditate regularly, spend the last minute of your session focused on the same finger, in the same way. Doing this will associate (or anchor) the feelings of clarity, relaxation, and attachment with the action.

And if you don’t meditate, it’s a great time to start! It will help with your ability to cope with stressful situations generally, and dramatically improve the effects of this technique.

Why This Technique Works

Stress is a mental or physical tension, and both manifest from your relationship to the procession of thoughts in your head.

Mindfulness allows you to step out of the procession and watch it go past, without being carried down the fast-flowing river.

When we get pulled down a heavy stream, our emotions and bodies react as if the danger or pain contained in the thought is real, immediate, and must be dealt with now. That’s why we feel discomfort even when someone reminds us of a stressful situation we were trying to forget.

Reconnecting with the present reminds us that here is the only time there really is.

Focusing on your hands is an ancient Ayurvedic practice that helps to ground the soul and provide stability in the physical body.

Try It for Yourself

The most important reason this technique works is it gives you something back—control.

We may not be able to choose what happens to us in our lives, but as Viktor Frankl says, we can always choose our response.

Give it a go next time you feel yourself panicking (and be sure to let us know how you go in the comments below).

About Jonathan Allen

Jonathan Allen is an Australian writer who loves turning big ideas into practical wisdom. You can read his blog at The Galilei, where he road-tests spiritual wisdom, makes fun of himself, and shares real techniques to help people live healthier, happier, and more connected lives.

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5 Ways to Calm Yourself Down Quickly and Effectively |


I go to the ocean to calm down, to reconnect with the creator, to just be happy

Nnedi Okorafor

There are moments of anger that we all experience every day.

Maybe the car in front of you just cut you off. A loved one forgot about a promise. Your boss just lectured you about the quality of your work when it wasn’t you that turned in the project in question.

The reason why anger is difficult to contain is because we often feel justified to have this negative emotion.

It seems righteous. Sometimes it even is a positive thing. We should get angry about things like poverty, disease, and war.

Even if our anger is righteous and justified, it can quickly morph into a chip on our shoulder that won’t want to go away.

At that point, any positive outcome has been removed from the equation.

You must either find a way to calm yourself down quickly and effectively or you’ll find yourself beginning to isolate from others because of your uncontrolled emotion.

There are 5 proven ways that you can use to calm yourself down right now, no matter how angry you may actually be.

Let’s take an in-depth look at each option right now so that you can have the coping skills you may need the next time anger comes your way.


#1. Breathing

The relaxation response comes when your body feels relaxed, calm, and focused.

We fool ourselves into believing that playing video games, watching a movie on the couch, or taking a drive is relaxing. It’s not.

It is stimulating and only extends the amount of anger that is being felt.

Deep breathing exercises are a great way to encourage your body to calm down right away.

When you use abdominal breathing for up to 30 minutes each day, the increased oxygen levels naturally cause your body to begin to relax because it is funneling out the anxiety and stress that your anger is causing.

Why does this work?

Because the oxygen stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system that is inside your body.

It is this system that promotes a state of higher calm.

This is why when you take deep breaths, you begin to feel more aware of what your body has been trying to tell you.

It quiets the mind, wipes away your worries, and helps you to confront your anger.

There isn’t just one type of breathing exercise that can help you out here.

AIS has several techniques they have endorsed and they have some great advice that can help you to master the art of using deep breathing to help you release your anger.

Breath counting is also a great way to begin helping yourself calm down.

Anger tends to dominate in the mind because we do not shift our focus away from it.

The counting process creates the necessary shift to help the mind begin to cope with the anger instead of allowing it to fester.

Here are 3 great breathing exercises to try that really do help to ease anger.

Slow, deep breaths can also help to lower your blood pressure and your heart rate.

Another option is pranayama breathing, which is a yogic method that involves breathing through one nostril at a time to relieve anxiety.

The technique’s supposed to work the same way as acupuncture, balancing the mind and body.

Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts

Thich Nhat Hanh


#2. EFT

EFT is something I like to call “poor man’s acupuncture.”

It works through the tapping of specific pressure zones on your body to find the energy disruptions that are causing anger to fester.

When you use a specific EFT tapping recipe for your anger, in just a few minutes you can feel like you’re calming down and back to yourself.

Does this actually work to calm your anger?

Maybe you don’t believe in the power of acupuncture or think that disrupting the energy centers within your body is a bunch of New Age nonsense.

It really could be that EFT works just because it causes your mind to focus on something other than your anger for awhile.

The fact is that EFT requires you to focus on your emotion and the reason why you are feeling it.

Identification is the first stage of coping. The tapping component in each EFT recipe is just part of the healing process.

At the end of each session, EFT also asks you to accept yourself, forgive yourself, and move forward with your day.

Want to know more about EFT and if it could be the right way for you to calm yourself down quickly and effectively?

The video below will help you learn even more about this method.


The greatest step towards a life of simplicity is to learn to let go

Steve Maraboli



#3. Music and Visualization

Have you ever just sat down and really listened to your favorite song?

Ever notice that when you do this, your mind begins to wander through past memories, pleasant experiences, and other happy thoughts?

Music is one of the few things in this world that can engage the entire mind at once.

It harnesses the mind’s power and puts it to good use.

Anger doesn’t stand a chance if you’re willing to put on some of your favorite music and work on some visualization exercises.

Visualization is more than just a daydream.

It is a real environment that your mind creates within the scope of your imagination.

It is a universe that is very real to you even if no one else can experience it.

As you’re listening to your favorite songs, picture with your mind’s eye a setting that you find to be deeply relaxing.

Now imagine that you’re walking through that environment.

Take note of what your senses are telling you about it. What does the air smell like? If there is food present, what does it taste like? Is there a cool breeze? How does the grass feel between your fingers?

It doesn’t have to be music that provides your mind with this foundation to create visualization.

Brainwave entrainment and guided visualization techniques can also provide a calming effect.

This is because your mind becomes tuned to the specific brainwaves it needs to accomplish a specific result.

If you’re angry, it can be difficult to relax and focus on sleep.

If you can re-tune the brain to focus on the brainwaves that emphasize relaxation and sleep, you’ll be able to calm down right away.


Music is the moonlight in the gloomy night of life

Friedrich Richter



#4. Meditation

No need to go on a retreat to the mountains – just 5 minutes of peace is all it takes to reap the benefits of meditation.

There’s evidence that just two quick bouts of silent meditation per day can relieve stress and depression.

Find a comfortable spot in a quiet place, concentrate on your breath, and feel those anxieties start to disappear.

Now some people might say that you need to be in a specific pose or create a specific environment so that you can meditate.

I disagree with that sentiment.

I’ve heard of people who meditate in the shower.

I’ve heard of walking meditation being successful when no other forms of meditation would work.

I even know a fellow who can only meditate when there’s an episode of Futurama playing in the background.

The fact is that the meditation techniques which work the best to help calm you down must be your own.

You must unlock your own unique combination.

These simple and quick meditation and relaxation techniques are a great place to get started if you haven’t tried meditation in the past.

Meditation is painful in the beginning but it bestows immortal Bliss and supreme joy in the end

Swami Sivananda

#5. Exercise

Exercise is the great anger reducer.

Your muscles build up toxins like lactic acid that need to be worked out with movement.

Anger can also be a toxin that invades the mind and can be just as bothersome.

When you get into the zone while exercising, everything seems right with the world. You forget about being angry. You just focus on the moment.

You don’t have to be in excellent shape to benefit from what exercise can do for your anger. Maybe you can’t run 4 miles a day, but could you walk your dog around the block?

Even cleaning your home is exercise that can help you focus on more important things than your angry emotions.

Exercise does put your body under physical stress.

It also reduces the levels of the body’s stress hormones, such as cortisol or adrenaline.

At the same time, it creates endorphins that help to elevate your mood and reduce chronic pain.

As an added bonus, if you are a little out of shape, you’ll have more self-esteem and confidence as you see yourself slimming down and getting into those old pants tucked into the corner of the closet.


In Conclusion….

The fact is that anyone can find a coping skill for their anger no matter where they happen to be.

You can breathe, do EFT, or your preferred method of calming down anywhere you happen to be.

You can also use all of these methods to calm yourself down throughout the day.

Try putting together 20 minutes of exercise with 20 minutes of meditation to see how you feel.

You don’t have to let anger rule over you every day.

Use these methods or use your own and take charge of your anger.

Turn it into the positive energy you know it can be today.

Calmness is the cradle of power

Josiah Gilbert Holland

Do you have your own ways of calming yourself down? Let me know in the comments below.



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I am an enthusiast of meditation and contemplation. I also like listening to brainwave entrainment music. In my view it’s really effective. I hope you’ll find something interesting on this blog.

How to calm yourself down when angry

Sometimes you might feel angry just because you had a bad day. But sometimes the reason is somebody you know – friend, co-worker or even a family member. In any case, the best solution is to calm yourself down when angry.

Earlier we have written about how to calm down when stressed, now it is time look at some effective techniques about how to calm yourself down when angry.

How to calm yourself down when angry – 6 simple steps

Take a deep breath

When you are angry your breathing increases. Take a deep breath and let oxygen to make your mind cooler. Do it right on time and at least 5 times. Deep breathing helps your body to produce hormones that will help you to calm down.

If you want to know more about deep breathing, read about deep breathing benefits and deep breathing exercises.

Think before you speak

It is wise to calm yourself down before you speak. Do not say anything you will regret later. Collect your thoughts instead and allow others to do the same. It is better to be silent if you do not have anything constructive to say. Sometimes being silent is the best solution.

Remove yourself

Removing yourself is a very effective way to calm yourself down when angry. What is the reason of your anger. If it is a person, stay away from this person. If it is a situation, remove yourself from that situation. Take a cup of calming tea or coffee or just go outside for a short walk. You can use this time to clear your thoughts and look at the big picture. Most probably you will realize that whatever is bothering you is not as important as it seemed.

Identify possible solutions

Anger only makes things worse, so it is wise to think about different solutions to resolve the issue. Think through and if possible, write down at least couple of different scenarios to fix the problem. You can discuss these solutions with somebody you trust and figure out what is best for you.

Talk about it later

You are able to avoid the same kind of situations in the future if you talk about it when you are not angry anymore. Have a constructive dialog with the person who made you angry. It is very likely that you will find a solution that please you both.

Those were most important steps you have to take if you are facing the question about how to calm yourself down when angry.

The last tip is about what you should not do.

DO NOT get wasted, drunk, or loaded

Self-destructive habits won’t help you in the long run. In most cases, these habits will make things worse, since you might do something stupid when drunk.

Remember and follow those steps and the answer to the question about how to calm yourself down when angry is always with you.

How do you calm yourself down when angry? Let us know in the comments below.

Do you like this article about how to calm yourself down when angry?! Share it with your friends!

How to calm yourself down on We Heart It

There were times when I was really dramatty (pun intended) and so when I was angry or whatever kind of hurricane feelings I was feeling, I walked into my room (my safe space), made it dark and listened to Green Day with a very loud volume. And headphones. I was a good kid.
But no, honestly, I hate feeling helpless or any kind of «I want to rip my hair out»-feeling. SO here are my tips for you so you can maybe caml down better:


Tea calms down. It smells good and is consoling. Sit down at a window and get youself a blanket. Or go out in the sun and sit there drinking you tea.


Once I made a huge mistake, came home and just cried my heart out in front of my family. After I was out of tears I went to my room and read a book. To be more specific I read Jane Austen´s «Pride & Prejudice» and it just calmed me down and let me merge into another world with other problems than the ones I had in my life.


If you have one, cuddle it. I don´t know (I think there are studies about animals making hapy) but… Everytime I´m down and I look at my dog and he´s just happy to see me and to cuddle with me it makes me happy and calmes me down.


Maybe even with your dog if you don´t want to be alone. Just walk a while and breathe. The nature around you seems to be carless of your feelings, and maybe that´s what you need to calm down, just a bit of distraction from your own world.


It has the same effect as reading a book.

I hope I could help you and that you enjoyed this arcticle.
Happy today day,

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