How to be a man
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How To Be A Man (2013)
Decent comedy, but one that is definitely very inconsistent. It has its really funny moments, that I’ll get into later, but the film really is a hit and miss affair. The film tells the story of Mark, believing he’s dying of breast cancer, hires this young cameraman Bryan, who could very well be his son as well, in order to film these series of video for his unborn son on, you guessed it, how to be a man. Hence the very clever title. Not really, but I digress. The series of videos start off innocuously enough, with Mark trying to teach his son how to stand up for himself and how to fight against bullies, etc. Things eventually start unraveling out of control as Mark comes to the realization that either he dies shortly after his son is born, or that he won’t have time to achieve his dreams once his son IS born because he’ll have so many responsibilities that he won’t have time to achieve his dreams. Basically, in his own mind, his life is over regardless. So the video series devolves into amoral behavior disguised as an instructional video on how to be a man. Mark starts self-destructing and harming those around him with his behavior. Mark sees this as his last time to live life to the fullest before he dies…either literally or figuratively. So while the film certainly focuses on Mark’s and Bryan’s friendship and how Mark, inadvertently, through his videos, teaches Bryan how to be a man, it’s much more about Mark’s journey through self-destruction. So the film definitely goes to some dark places. Problem is that that the acting is solid but unspectacular and I don’t think Gavin McInnes has the chops to truly pull off the more «serious» stuff. And I say put serious in quotation marks because the film is a comedy through and through, it’s just that Mark’s self-destructive behavior is certainly darker in tone than the rest of the film and I don’t think Gavin can truly capture that desperation that his character feels. Another issue is the comedy, it’s certainly very raunchy but it doesn’t really feel organic or natural. It just sort of feels forced in there. There’s times when the raunchiness does work. For example the first scene with Mark and Margot talking about how she could be having an affair and not Mark wouldn’t even know since she’s already pregnant. To avoid spoiling the scene, as it’s one of the funniest in the film, they say some pretty raunchy shit but it feels really organic and like two people actually talking and having a conversation about a very fucked up subject. It wouldn’t surprise me if that scene was improvised. There’s also the big scene in the film, which is where Mark teaches Bryan how to perform cunnilingus. This is a pretty long scene and while it’s certainly funny in parts, it feels really drawn out. Like it was just there to pad the length of the film. Again, it’s funny but it took way too long to get to the point. The climax of the film, which sees Mark apologize to his wife for everything that he did and her reaction to it was actually really funny. Those are the three I can recall off the top of my head. The rest of the film just really tries way too hard to be raunchy and it doesn’t really work most of the time. But this isn’t really a bad film, it’s certainly an easy watch as it’s only 85 minutes long. It can feel a little long for 85 minutes, but it’s not so bad. Decent cast, good idea, but so-so execution.
How to Be the Man in a Relationship
Here are 4 examples of how to be the man in a relationship:
1. Be emotionally stronger than she is
Life is tough sometimes.
Every now and then, life tends to throw you a curveball and a woman wants to be able to rely on her man to remain strong no matter what happens.
She doesn’t want to have to be the strong one or “the man” and take care of a scared, sensitive or insecure guy who can’t handle the pressures of life as a human being. She wants to be able to relax into being the more emotionally sensitive and vulnerable one, rather than having to be strong for her guy because he is weak.
All across the world, women are naturally attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, determination, high self-esteem, calm under pressure, etc) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. insecurity, shyness, anxiety, nervousness, etc).
When a woman can see that her man always remains emotionally strong no matter how tough life gets or how much she tests him (e.g. by being less affectionate, throwing tantrums, etc), it deepens her respect and attraction for him in a profound way.
She can look up to him and respect him as the man in the relationship, rather than looking down on him and feeling as though she’s gotten herself involved with a half a man or a wimpy guy who isn’t emotionally strong enough for a woman like her.
These days, millions of guys across the world spend 100s of hours per year in gyms trying to build up muscle in the hope that they can appear strong to women.
There’s nothing wrong with a guy working out, building muscle or staying in shape, but it’s not the type of strength that makes him the man in the relationship.
He might be able to lift heavy weights, but if he crumbles under the pressure of life or becomes emotionally sensitive and weak in response to the the tests of his woman, she is going to look at him as a weak, almost useless man regardless of how big his muscles are.
In today’s world, physical strength rarely gets a guy promoted at work, top grades at university or success in business. As men, our inner strength is what is most valuable to women and to ourselves…and women instinctively know that.
A woman might not be able to explain it in that way, but she knows that big muscles on an emotionally weak guy (e.g. nervous, low self-esteem, lack of belief in himself, gives up easily when things get challenging, etc) is not going to pay the bills, make her feel happy and lead both of them to a better life in the future.
There’s nothing wrong with having muscles, but if you’re not strong on the inside, a woman isn’t going to be able to look up to you and respect you as the man in the relationship.
2. Maintain mutual respect
Relationships will often fall apart when a man is unable to maintain the respect between himself and the woman.
For example: He will allow her to disrespect him and treat him badly. In an attempt to change how she is treating him, he will be extra nice to her and try to kiss up to her (e.g. by being very generous, cleaning up around the house, etc) in the hope that she will reward him with more love and respect.
Yet, the more he rewards her bad behavior, the less respect she will have for him.
Alternatively, a guy may react with anger and frustration and treat his woman badly if she doesn’t respect him, which will only destroy her respect for him even further.
Neither of those approaches work in the long run because the woman loses respect and attraction for the guy and then begins to fall out of love with him.
So, how can you maintain mutual respect in a relationship?
Maintaining mutual respect is about not letting your woman push you around and treat you badly, but at the same time, making sure that you respect her and treat her well too. If either of you are out of line, as a man, you need to be the one who pulls everything back into line.
You can’t expect her to “be the man” in the relationship and take charge of the situation.
If you get into an argument, you need to be a man by gaining control over your emotions (i.e. be calmer, more loving, being patient and understanding, etc) and then guide both you and her back to a more harmonious way of communicating, behaving and treating each other.
When you are able to take charge and lead the way like that and guide both you and her back into a more loving, respectful way of being, both you and her grow together as a couple, rather than falling apart through pointless arguments where you end up wasting time and energy blaming each other and trying to make each other feel bad.
For the love and attraction to stay alive in a relationship, you have to make sure that you maintain mutual respect. If a woman doesn’t respect you, she will then lose attraction for you and if it goes on for long enough, she will begin to fall out of love with you.
3. Lead the way to a better life for the both of you
To succeed and live a comfortable lifestyle where you can afford to go on vacation and buy nice things, it often takes a lot of hard work, determination and persistence to get there.
Unlike those who are born in a wealthy family and life a comfortable life (often without having to work a day in their life), the rest of the population usually has to work hard and for a long time to be able to enjoy a great life in today’s world.
In the competitive world that we now live in, success isn’t handed out easily. If it was, everyone would just do a little bit of work and then be hugely successful in life.
It would be nice if life was like that, but down here on planet Earth, life is often a challenge and requires a lot of emotional strength and persistence to achieve great things.
Part of being the man in a relationship is taking on the role of being the person who is mostly responsible for guiding you and her to a better life in the future.
This doesn’t mean that you have to do all the work or earn all the money, but that you have to make sure that both of you stay on track to getting where you’re aiming to be in 10 or 20 years time.
When a woman sees that her man is rising through the levels of life and reaching for his true potential as a man, she will feel safe with him, respectful of him, attracted to him and will be more in love with him, compared to if he were to hide from his true potential because of laziness or a fear of failure.
4. Make her feel like a real woman
To make a woman feel like a real woman, you need to make her feel girly and feminine in response to your masculinity.
When you are consistently a masculine man (e.g. you are emotionally strong, you don’t supress your masculine vibe around anyone, you are confident, etc), she can relax into being a feminine woman around you.
A mistake that a lot of guys make in a relationship, is to get too comfortable with their woman to the point where he treats her like a friend or “one of the guys” rather than treating her as his girl or woman.
Treating her like a neutral friend or like she is one of the guys, doesn’t make her feel like a real woman.
You’ve always got to let your woman to be in a position where she feels girly and feminine around you. When you do that, she will naturally see you as being the man in the relationship.
Discover the secret of truly happy couples…
Discover the secret to making her feel sexually attracted to you, respect you and love you for life
How To Be A Man
Show Full Transcript
Hey, this is Leo from Actualized.org, and in this video I’m going to tell you how to be a man.
Make A Man Out Of You
Let’s talk about how to make you into a man, how to be a man. I love this topic. I’m so excited about this topic. I’ve been waiting to talk about this. I want to shoot more videos just about what it takes to be masculine, also what it takes to be feminine and the interaction between the two.
I just love studying female and male psychology, it’s so fascinating to me. Ever since I got it to pick up and I really started to dig my way out of a deep hole that I dug myself into through my whole life, where I had no success with relationships or sex.
Basically I committed to digging myself out of that hole, committed to studying a lot of material about the dynamics and what it takes to attract the opposite sex, how that actually works — not just the myths, not just the popular cultural stereotypes — actually how it works and practicing it in the field, talking to thousands and thousands of women.
It’s ridiculous. The amount of development I got from that personally has been amazing. Still one of the most rewarding things that I’ve done, and I think one of the best things for my own masculinity. I learned so much about what it takes to be a man and they’re actually very, very clear principles of what it means to be masculine. When you become more in touch with your masculinity, as a guy, it’s amazing. You start to feel like you’re really yourself, you start to feel authentic, the way you know you want to feel.
Grabbing The Bull By The Horns
You stop feeling shy and insecure, and you stop being a pussy. You start actually taking the bull by the horns and it feels amazing. This is what your life as a man should be, so if you haven’t yet tapped into this, if you’re still young and you’re going through high school or college especially… Wow.
If you’re in your early twenties, or mid-twenties, this is the perfect opportunity for you to really tap into your masculinity. This is such an amazing idea. What does it really mean to be a man? If you really want to know, a lot of the information I take from David Data’s excellent book, The Way Of The Superior Man, where he goes really deep, some super deep, amazing ideas about masculinity. He’s really the guru on that, he’s the expert.
I learned a lot of information from him, but also a lot of this stuff comes from my own experience looking at guys who are really, really successful with women, who are really attractive to women, and analyzing them and picking them apart in my mind. Studying them and then taking on those characteristics myself, and then testing it and seeing how the women in my life have been reacting to it.
There’s some really powerful ideas here. What does it mean to be a man? A man is hundred percent authentic. You have to be very honest as a man, you have to be real. You have to have nothing to hide, you have to be totally open. Be open. You have to be open about all your problems, your insecurities, all your foibles.
You have to be very open. You can’t hide stuff. You can’t be in a relationship hiding stuff, hiding skeletons. You can’t be in a conversation trying to not rub somebody the wrong way, trying to be too polite. No, a real man is authentic. He’s not afraid to express himself.
In fact, that’s what he’s doing his whole life. His whole life is about self-expression. That’s what makes them a man. That’s what he loves, what he enjoys to do. This is what masculinity is. It’s about unleashing into the world. Feminine energy is about receiving and going with the flow. Masculine energy is about enforcing yourself on the world, we’re going to get into that a bit deeper, in a few minutes here, towards the end of this video.
It’s not having nothing to hide. It’s all about being, you might say icy or otherwise emotionally stable, unreactive, grounded. A man is grounded. He is the man. He knows what is values are. He knows what his principles are and he lives by principles. He has things that are important to him, things that he will never sacrifice for the sake of a quick little reward, a quick little hit of pleasure.
He’s got principles that he’s living by. He values maybe honesty, or he values creativity, or values truth. There’s something in there that is grounding him. It’s making him solid. He’s not wishy-washy. He’s not jumping up and down. He’s not always afraid, anxious and worrying what people think about him. That’s how a woman behaves, that’s not how a man behaves.
Don’t Be A Woman, Man
That’s the most repellent thing to a woman, if you start to behave like a woman. If you are reactive, if you are indecisive, if you are not icy, she is not going to be attracted to you. Not if she’s very feminine. A very feminine woman is going to want a very masculine man ,who’s completely rounded, because what he does is he grounds her and he allows her to be girly.
He allows her to be emotional and her emotions can’t penetrate into him. It’s like he’s a pillar, and no matter what the wind does, you know, a hurricane can come by and this pillar, this concrete pillar is just grounded a thousand feet into the earth, and it’s not moving. It’s not budging. Nothing’s going to move it. That’s what a real man is.
To do that, you have to develop a really strong sense of identity. That’s why women will always be attracted to the men who have the strongest connection with who they really are, who really understand their identity. That’s why women are attracted to older man, because older man are more mature and have a deeper sense of identity. Younger men haven’t really discovered who they are yet, so women tend to go for the ones that have and those just naturally tend to be a little bit older.
That’s why women generally like to date guys who are five or ten years older than they are. That’s how that can be explained. Another thing that a real man is is that he’s happy by himself. He doesn’t need women. He doesn’t need the approval of anybody. He can be happy just how he is. He constructs an awesome life for himself and he’s very independent. He’s stable and then if a woman comes into his life — great! If he’s got friends coming to his life — great!
But he doesn’t need them, he’s not dependent on them. He’s, in fact, completely outcome independent. He doesn’t need anything to go his way. He doesn’t need a woman to be in his life. If a woman is in his life he might be happy with her, and if she decides to leave, he is totally happy with that too.
He’s not attached to her, he doesn’t cling to her. That’s what a masculine man does, because he’s confident, he knows who he is, he’s happy in himself. Why would he need a woman to be there? Why would he need some particular person in his life? He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t need that. He’s really grounded in his identity.
Embrace Your Sexuality
The next point is, and this is my favourite, is that a real man is really in tune with his sexuality. You have to really get over this idea that sex is wrong, evil, shameful, dirty. It’s complete nonsense. When you become a real man, you view sex as completely normal, completely healthy, in fact — beautiful. Something that is your gift to give to the world.
You are completely open about your sexuality. You are not afraid to talk about sex. You’re not afraid to have amazing sex. You’re not afraid to talk dirty to a girl. A real man does that because it pleases him, not because he’s trying to show off, or he’s trying to be dirty, but because that’s who he is.
He’s masculine and he wants to fuck the girl. He wants to fuck the world. I don’t say this facetiously, or to be flippant. I actually mean that he wants to fuck the world. This is what masculinity is at its very core — as a man, you want to fuck the world. Let me explain what this is.
As you do one thing, you do everything. If you are not fucking the world, then you actually are not fucking your girl. I actually see this with men, is that the don’t know how to fuck their girl properly. To do this, you have to understand what this means. For a man, he gets his deepest pleasure from giving himself to the world. HE gives, he releases his energy.
This is mirrored in sex, is that the man gives himself, he is the one who is doing the penetrating, and he is the one who is injecting the world with his seed. It’s clear how this applies to sex, it’s very literally, but it also applies to the real world, to life outside the bedroom. It’s actually even more important here.
Fuck The World
What this means, to fuck the world, is that you’re penetrating the world with your personality. This means you’re penetrating the world with your authentic self, with who you are. When you do that, you can’t be shy. You can’t be timid, you can’t be fearful. This means that, to penetrate the world, that means you’re sharing your gifts.
Your life is about giving. Your life is about creating, it’s about doing. Doing what’s authentic to you. Not caring about what anybody thinks about you. Not letting any obstacle get in your way. This is how a real man behaves. When he’s out there, doing it in the real world, then he can really do it in the bedroom too.
In the real world, you should be penetrating into it. That’s literally how it feels. I don’t know, maybe you’ve felt this. If you’ve accomplished something great at work, or you’ve created some sort of project, something creative maybe, like you wrote a book or you wrote some sort of awesome report, or you created a website, or you composed an awesome piece of music.
As a man, when you do that, you feel like “Yeah, that’s it. I fucked the world. I penetrated the world, literally, and I gave it my seed. That is my seed that I inseminated into the world. It was something that wasn’t there, and now I gave that life.”
Creating In The World
As a man, we can’t have a child directly. We can have a child through a woman, but we don’t actually give birth to a child. For us, the creative process is even more important than it is for a woman. She can identify with the creative process by actually creating a baby. A man can’t do that, so for him, his purpose in life, his mission, his fulfillment comes from creating in the world.
That’s why men are tinkerers. That’s why we’re engineers. That’s why we love to go out there and build stuff and do stuff. We like to create stuff physically, but we also like to create intellectual stuff. We like to analyze, then we like to synthesize that information.
That’s what you should be doing. If you’re not doing this, then you’re not tapping into your full masculinity. You’re unsatisfied in life, at a very deep level. What a man has is a life purpose. The life purpose stuff that I talk about so passionately in all my videos, well, this is especially important for you if you are a man.
I think it’s important for women too, and they have to reconcile how the masculine energies, with life purpose fit in with their feminine energies. There’s more of a challenge there. With men, it’s completely clear. You need to be so focused on your life purpose. Your life purpose needs to be life priority number one.
Hierarchy Of Needs
The woman in your life is not priority number one. Never make your woman priority number one. If you do, she will leave you, because she will sense that you’re priority is her, and she doesn’t like that. What she likes is that you have a purpose, you have a sense of direction. She’s tagging along, she’s there for the ride, she’s supporting you as the girl in your life, but she’s not your purpose.
Your purpose should be something outside of her. Your purpose should be your work, your career. What are you doing? What’s the impact you’re having on the world? How are you penetrating the world? If you can penetrate the world, if you can go out there and kill it in your career, then when you come back into the bedroom, you can kill it there. That’s what’s going to make her happy.
She’s going to be happy that you’re out there doing stuff that’s good for the world too. It all comes together really, really nicely. This is the essence of it. Life purpose, sense of direction, this is the essence of masculinity. To have a life purpose is going to — all these ideas, they’re all dovetailing, because to have a life purpose, to be on track with it, to be really killing it in your career, you’re going to have to be very confident.
Be The Pillar
You’re going to have to start throwing away all those fears that you have, all those anxieties, all those girly qualities about you that are making you a pussy. That’s not allowing you to go out there and bust through the obstacles in the real world. When you throw those away, you cast those aside, and you also tap into who you really are, and because you’re on your life purpose, you have identified it so you’ve done some work on your personality, you know who you are, you’re grounded now, you’re icey, right?
Now you can be that pillar. You know who you are, so you can be authentic. You can be authentic in your conversations, you don’t need anyone to be in your life and that’s extremely attractive to the opposite sex. You’re going to get so many women when you can create your life to embody everything I’m telling you here.
Some of this stuff is kind of abstract, but also not. You can see how you can start to develop this stuff. It’s going to take you some time. If you have been a pussy your whole life, if you have not developed life purpose, if you don’t know who you are, if you are shy, if you’re introverted, if you don’t know how to have a conversation, if you don’t know how to have amazing, ridiculous sex, if you don’t know how to penetrate the world, then you — this is probably new for you.
It’s probably a bit of a shock. You’re probably like “Wow, I’m far away.” Don’t get discouraged. You might be far away right now, especially if you’re young. It’s kind of normal. It takes a guy really some time to develop this. I would say that the man’s mission, or what the man is doing from his early twenties to his late thirties is discovering his identity.
He’s discovering who he really is, what he wants to do in the world, how he wants to penetrate the world. When he finally discovers that and gets on board, then he becomes a real man. Then, women flock to him.
You might think “Well, I’m twenty years old, I should already have that figured out.” No, not really. I think most guys, it takes them longer. It takes them longer to figure it out. Just because you’re a man physically, that does not make you a man psychologically. That does not make you truly masculine.
You’re going to be a physical man, but you’ll still be a boy inside. You’re going to be immature. You’re not going to know who you are. You’re going to be living somebody else’s values. You’re going to be shaky. You’re going to be fearful. You’re going to be anxious. You’re going to be emotional. You’re going to get angry all the time.
In fact, a lot of guys do that. You can not know how to have sex. You can be working some stupid, lame job and not have anything you’re really creating that’s powerful in your life. It takes a guy about ten years, starting from his twenties, to really develop it.
Fortune Favours The Manly
I really encourage you to take this very seriously and to be very conscious about how you go about putting yourself together as a man. When you do this… Wow. So much is going to happen for you. The biggest thing is that you’re going to feel fulfilled.
Not only are you doing this to be attractive to the opposite sex, really, you’re doing it for yourself. A man doesn’t do anything for anybody else but himself. You’re doing this because you love being masculine. It feels amazing. When you tap into this… Wow. It’s fucking awesome.
I really encourage you to take all this information to heart and start finding ways to apply it. Here are a couple of things that I’m going to give you, that are going to practically drill this into your mind. Things that you can do to become more of a man.
Have Lots Of Sex
Number one: have sex with lots of girls. I think this is mandatory for men. This is how we are biologically wired, even though society doesn’t like to admit this. Girls don’t like us to talk about it, we want to be monogamous and this and that, be in a relationship and get married.
The bottom line is that a man is like the lion in the pride. This is the way nature set it up. I’m sorry to break it to you, girls and guys, but this is how it is. You can talk about marriages and all this all you want. I think there’s nothing wrong with marriage, there’s nothing wrong with monogamous relationships, but, as a man, especially a young man, you need to go out there and you need to explore the field.
You need to have sex with lots of girls. This is what makes you a man. This is how you learn about sexuality. This is how you learn about being icy. This is how you learn about being unreactive. This is how you learn to tolerate all the emotions that women are throwing at you.
It’s how you learn to flirt. It’s how you learn to be confident. There’s so much stuff you learn by being with women. The more of them you can be with, the better. This doesn’t mean you have to be a whore your whole life, but it does mean that it’s good.
It’s much better to go out there and have sex with twenty or thirty girls than it is to have sex with two of them. If you have sex with two girls your whole life, you’re going to be a pussy. I can pretty much guarantee it. It’s going to be hard for you to really be masculine.
If you go out and have sex with thirty, or a hundred girls, it’s going to be almost impossible for you not to be masculine. You’re just going to have to learn. Even to accomplish that, you’re going to have to already build your masculinity so much. You have to go out there and do that. Just do it.
Stop making excuses and stop saying it’s bad or evil, or something’s wrong with it. It’s not wrong. This is what it takes to become a man. Women are attracted to this, even though they don’t like to admit it. They always want to say “Well I want the guy to be just my guy.” Fine.
But in the end, they’re attracted to a guy who is icy, unreactive, emotionally stable, who’s authentic and real and confident, extremely sexual, extremely open. How do you think a guy gets like that? You think a guy’s born like that? Fuck no.
To be that way, you need to go out there and explore the world. You need to fuck a lot of women. That’s how to get that way. The fact is, women will always have sex with the guy who has sex with the most women. The more women you get, it’s like a snowball effect, you just have more and more sex with women.
Then it becomes easier and easier to have sex with more women. You get so grounded that women are just magnetically drawn to you. It’s obnoxious. It’s frankly obnoxious, some of the things that I have seen in the field, from some of the people I’ve seen. In fact, it can be so obnoxious, it can be so effective, that the person could actually stop to develop himself, and he just becomes so attractive with women that it’s almost like he gets all the validation he wants and he stops growing as a true man.
He really stay immature, but he becomes so attractive it’s obnoxious. Go out and explore the field a little bit, so you’re royal oats, as they say.
Find Your Purpose
Next is, I want you to have a strong career and a strong sense of purpose in your life. If you don’t know what your life purpose is, man, I would say that is even more important. Discover what your life purpose is, have that nailed down, I don’t care what it takes. If it takes you ten years to figure it out, figure it out.
If it takes you hours and hours of work and money, and toil and traveling the world, do it. Find out what your life purpose is, commit to it and stay on track and never fall off. As soon as you fall off, you lose your masculinity, you lose your power. You lose way too much, it’s not worth it. Your life purpose is priority number one. Women are not priority number one, they’re priority number three or five or ten, not one.
Delve Into The Unknown
The third thing I’m going to give you is, I want you to start breaking out of your comfort zone. As a man, you cannot be surrounding yourself in a bubble of comfort. You have to be out there doing new stuff. That means, if you’re not comfortable going to the gym, start going to the gym. If you’re not comfortable eating Korean food, go eat Korean food.
If you’re not comfortable traveling overseas, go travel overseas to some dangerous country. If you’re not comfortable chatting up a girl in a club, go to a club and chat up more girls. If you’re not comfortable reading a book, go read a book. Do the thing that are pushing your comfort zone, that are scaring you.
They are going to expand your tolerance level. They’re going to grow you as a human being. Personal growth. I mean, a woman can do this too, and she’ll get personal growth. Everybody gets personal growth by pushing their comfort zone, but for a man this is especially important, because you can’t be fearful. You have to be confident.
Confidence is something you ultimately develop, over the long run, by exploring. Exploring life. You can’t’ be just limited to this one little domain in life. Open yourself up more. Try more stuff. Explore, travel, work different jobs, have a diversity of friends, study different material, have different types of girlfriends so that you can learn from them all.
Then you become a real man, and then you can narrow down and say “OK, I want to do this.” At the beginning, you have to explore. Those are the key points about how to become a man. This is… wow. If I had this information just two years ago, it would’ve transformed my life. I had to go and discover this thing the really hard way.
I’m distilling a lot of gold nuggets for you guys. If you don’t take action on this stuff, I’m going to be upset. Leave me your comments down below. This is probably going to be a little bit of a controversial video, but everything I said to you guys here is very, very true, so if you find yourself resisting it or saying “No, that’s not true. That’s not right.” I urge you to be open minded.
Trust this stuff is right. You know that this is right. It sounds too right, even though society is telling you it’s wrong. It sounds too right because it’s true. It’s been proven by too many men. This has been proven by too many men to be doubted. Go out there and apply it.
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How to be a charming man
Charming people is easy
Throughout my life i managed to charm so many different people and attract them to me. In many cases i wasn’t actually trying to do any effort but it’s just the fact that i developed some habits that made me more capable of charming people.
In this article i will tell you about some of those habits so that you know how to charm people and specifically women.
- 1) Be more than just a man: In my course The master of charm i said that women get bored of ordinary men who have weaknesses, pains and life problems. Instead you need to seem like you are larger than life and more of a super human than a man. You need to appear unshakable, unbreakable and not comparable to anybody else they have seen before
- 2) Make bold statements about yourself: In my previous article Why do we believe in emotional talks i said that the human brain is highly receptive to suggestions. Tell someone that you are an expert on something or that you are very attractive to the opposite sex and they will believe you. The only thing you need to make sure of is to be very confident while making your statement
- 3) Be arrogant in a funny way: All researches show that women like arrogant and cocky men as they get impressed by their confidence and strength. Arrogance however can sometimes backfire, this is why the best thing you can do is to use cocky humor where people won’t really know whether you are telling the truth or joking. In such a case people’s mind will get programmed anyways. Note that this only works with women. See Why being cocky attracts women.
- 4) Add an air of mystery: Anything that is predictable is usually considered boring. You never keep staring at an object that you see everyday for you know everything about it. Mysterious things however catch the attention and spark our curiosity. Curiosity is a very powerful human desire that can motivate people to do extreme things. Always be mysterious and don’t make yourself 100% readable. Why being mysterious works
- 5) Sell them your dreams: Most women like successful and resourceful men but don’t worry if you have nothing. You can always sell women your dreams by convincing them that you are going to be somebody one day. Once they buy your dream they can get really attached to what you are yet to become. See Does money attract women?
- 6) Always use social proof: According to the social proof theory people are more likely to believe that things are more worthy if others are finding them worthy as well. All you need to do is to convince people that you are demanded and they will find you much more attractive
- 7) Display a great deal of emotional strength: You might have been told that being sensitive attracts women but that’s not the case with most women. Women like super men who display a great deal of emotional strength and personal power. Try to seem very strong, totally in control of your life and powerful enough to handle all life problems. See Do women really like sensitive men
- 8) Differentiate yourself: In order to charm people you need not to look like anyone they have seem before. Wear different cloths, change the way you look or do something that makes you look special and different. Don’t do the mistake of doing this in a way that makes you seem like a weirdo. You want to be different but in the same time you should also fit in to a certain extent
- 9) Learn to be charismatic: Contrary to common beliefs charisma can be learned. Learn how to have a strong presence and how to sound so sure of what you are saying. Do this and you will impress most women. See How to be charismatic
Don’t charm someone you are not interested in
If you are not really interested in someone then please don’t try to charm them. You don’t really want to end up breaking the heart of a person who did nothing bad to you.
Learn how to be charming but only use your powers when you are really interested in someone. Sometimes i even put myself down in front of some people not to attract them to me. Be careful.
The Solid confidence program was launched by 2knowmyself.com; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.
Want to know more?
How to attract any woman instantly
Why women like brooding men
Why women like men with dark triad traits
How to get over anyone in few days (book)
How to make anyone fall in love with me fast (book)
How to end Depression instantly (book)
How to control people’s minds (Course)
How to develop rock solid self confidence fast (course)
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How To Be A Gray Man
What Got me thinking about this was some things I’ve seen recently. While practicing my situational awareness out and at work I’ve noticed a lot of people recently that stand out. Some call what I’ve seen mall ninjas but they definitely stand out. Looking at them I could tell that they probably watch too much Doomsday Preppers. The clothes they were wearing scream survivalist and in some situations I feel that would be a hindrance. Not always though, going to the range, a prepper convention but not the grocery store. So lets get down to what is a gray man and how to be unnoticed.
Disappearing in a Crowd
What is a Gray Man
No Websters definition for this term, which is probably a good thing. The basic idea is to become invisible in a crowd. For people’s eyes to slip right over you. In a crowd there are people whom stand out. Your eyes are drawn to them, the further from what is considered normal, the more noticeable they become. The gray man blends right in a crowd. Some people you will will remember from a crowd, they stand out so much, the gray man will never be remembered. Nothing about the gray man is noticeable from their attire to their manner of speech. The goal is to not draw attention to oneself.
How To be A Gray Man
The internet is full of gray man theories and strategies. I tend to get right down to business though and I’ll give you my thoughts on how to become a gray man. In some situation standing out in a crowd is a great thing. You can attract that eye of a someone or get a promotion. Standing out however also draws unwanted attention. Wearing an expensive suit and a Rolex makes you a good target of a criminal. Flashy colors, political slogans and tattoos all add to making you stand out. There are times when not standing out would be best. The best thing in my opinion to blend in is jeans and plain t shirts in darker colors, think gray, black, brown, dark green etc. A beat up pair of athletic shoes works well for shoes. Hats, ball caps, that are plain can be good, especially if you have a noticeable haircut. Before I would have suggested not to wear a paracord bracelet when trying to go unnoticed, now though they are so popular they won’t be noticed. Sunglasses stick out to me, they scream I don’t to be noticed which makes me notice them even more. Avoid anything garish for jewelry if anything is even worn. Big skull rings, giant gold necklaces and shinny watches are a no go. Add to that list chain wallets. I used to wear them for practical reasons, I’m very forgetful and lose things easy, but stopped wearing them for a million reasons. For facial hair clean shaved, trimmed beard or goatee work well. If you have a huge goatee like Scott Ian from Anthrax you will be noticed. Being aware of what your doing and whats considered normal there goes a long way. If you wear a three piece business suit to a metal concert you will stand out if you wear a ripped up jean jacket covered in patches and buttons and a spiked mowhawk to a church you be noticed. Not saying I feel it should be that way but thats just society.
Why to be a Gray Man
There are many reasons to go around unnoticed in a crowd. The Ninja were attributed with the ability to become invisible, this rumor is mostly false, they developed great skills in camouflage and blending into crowds. If you dig into the ninja history you will find out that they had to develop their gray man skills because of religious persecution from the ruling class at the time. The modern reasons to avoid drawing attention to yourself mainly comes from not becoming a target. They best way to avoid a mugging is not be a prime target. If you do not look like an easy target with a good payoff your chances of being robbed go down. Another reason is during a disaster you do not want everyone to know you are a prepper/ survivalist. If you are under the idea that you don’t care who knows and you will just shoot anyone that shows up is plain idiotic. For one they are come with a bigger force than you can handle. Secondly, personally, I would rather avoid ever having to shoot anyone if given a choice. If I can avoid that by giving off the impression that I do not have anything worth taking so the scum can go after the low hanging fruit as it were, then I’ll be happier.
But Gray is Boring!
I know many are thinking that living life like this is very bland and, frankly, gray itself. I agree with that completely and still feel that at time it is beneficial. I feel that there are times and places to be a gray man and times not to be. Going on a date would probably not be the best, if your date forgets you it’s kinda pointless. Also if your boss forget you is could be bad, or not depending on what you want. I like what firearms instructor Frank Sharpe Jr. says: “Don’t go to stupid places with stupid people and do stupid things” which is great advise. Sometimes life will choose otherwise for you though and in those times being a gray man will greatly help. If you have to go to a rough area not being noticed could help you avoid a conflict. I’m sure walking around after a disaster in full camo like a mall ninja will be a bad idea for you. So yes it is a little boring not to be able to fully express your personal taste and style. You know what is not boring though, being alive, so I will be OK with a little boring. A really good resource I found on the topic is at the Zombie Squad Forums Here.
What are your thoughts on being a gray man? How do you avoid standing out? Let me know in the comments!
We labor under the delusion that a real man is a product of 40’s era fiction – a moderate to heavy drinker who talks with his fists. How do we reconcile those preconceived ideals with our (thankfully) safe and secure lives? Buy a motorcycle? Run with the bulls? Please.
It’s time to distill from myth what it takes to be a real man.
Find the Indicators
Until the middle of the last century, college students learned Latin. Students spent hours laboring over Cicero to impress each other with a dead language. Arguably, that time could have been spent learning something more practical, like finance. But if someone speaks Latin to you today, admit it, you’re impressed. You think Ivy League. Why would a useless skill impress us? Because it’s a recognized indicator.
After the Dark Ages, the only people who read or write belonged to the Church. Their lingua franca? Latin. Later, while everyone else worked the farm, only rich kids could afford to waste their time learning Latin. From then on, Latin implied education and, in turn, wealth. Latin became an indicator, even when it had no other practical use.
Manhood has many such outdated indicators. In the example above, you might run out and learn Latin to appear educated and wealthy, when what you really want is to be educated and wealthy. Latin won’t help you with that. So before you waste your time on similar pursuits, lets focus on…
How to Be a Man…?
A real man welcomes the occasional fisticuff. He is an expert shot. He excels in engine repair. He has two best friends: his dog and his motorcycle. He’s a loner who never fails to attract women. He does not work in an office but somewhere that requires a strong arm or a quick fist. He’s the Marlboro Man.
Or…. He is educated and landed. He dresses impeccably. He drives a nice car. He is an expert swordsman. He has an excellent wit. He is in a position of power. He’s James Bond.
Never mind that both of these visions are mutually exclusive. A blue collar worker will not drive a nice car. A loner will not hold a position of power. Fistfights land you a rap sheet that makes it hard to get a job. So will carrying a sword or shooting a gun in public. Electric cars barely even have engines anymore.
Time to distill the essence of these indicators into a regimen we can follow in our emasculated lifestyles.
How to Be a Real Man
Here, then, are the real traits behind the myth. These will always have merit, and any man can achieve them.
1. Keep your word. If you say the report will be on his desk by Tuesday, make it 8:00 am. If you say you’ll make it to your daughter’s recital, do. If you say you’ll mow the lawn this weekend, make that your first activity Saturday morning. People respect a man who keeps his word.
2. Be a fighter. Think of Joe on Family Guy. “Bring it on!” You might have a hard time finding an adversary with plans for world domination, but even a broken taillight needs fixing. Tackle each challenge with determination and bravado. Approach conflict diplomatically but directly. Be persistent and never tire. Don’t quit until it’s resolved. You don’t have to be a combative jerk to make things happen. You just have to be the one in front. Don’t know how to fight to the end? Refer to Rule 1.
Want to know How To Win A Bar Fight? Then click here.
3. Build your army. A real man is not a loner. A real man gets things done by engaging, and leading, others. He understands and sympathizes with the human condition, even if he doesn’t condone or excuse it. A little patience and humility goes a long way toward building a coalition, even with sworn enemies. Don’t know how to get people to trust you? Refer to Rule 2.
4. Fix things. Whether it’s the loose doorknob or your credit report, don’t let entropy get the better of you. Real men take on tasks before they become problems. Procrastination is for teenagers. Be proactive and get it done. You might not be able to fix that Prius yourself, but you can man up and take it to the shop rather than hobble down the road for six months. Don’t forget… part of being a man is knowing when you need help to get things done. If you can’t do it yourself or learn how, refer to Rule 3.
He’s not manly because he has expensive clothes or a million friends. He’s manly because he knows what he wants.
5. Know what you want. Get focused. A real man is happy with what he gets because he gets what he wants. Most modern men don’t know what they want. Money, but to buy what? Hot girl, only to wind up with a terrible personality? A career your parents dictated? Where does all this lead? Real men don’t ask if life has meaning. They make meaning. Yes, it’s harder than it sounds. A real man picks a path and walks it, no matter how rocky or steep. He is happy because he is on the path, right now, not wondering or dreaming about it. Having trouble staying on the path? Refer to Rule 4.
6. Be an expert. Sword fighting requires years of study. In the phrase “expert swordsman” it is not the word “sword” that makes the man, but the word “expert”. It doesn’t matter if you are the world’s recognized best balloon animal tier. You are a man when you’ve put the effort and time into being an expert at the thing you’ve chosen. Don’t know what to be an expert in? Refer to Rule 5.
Chaps and cigarettes don’t make manly. But because his clothes indicate he’s a confident expert, men want to be him.
7. The Clothes Make the Man. Fashion is a big part of our manly myth because clothes are another indicator. Just ask yourself, are you trying to look like a man, or be one? Mark Twain said, “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” Understand what clothing indicates about you to society. Once you know what you want, look the part. Follow the same rules with clothing as the rules above. 1. Don’t get sloppy. No matter what your uniform of choice, it must be neat and orderly. 2. It should serve a purpose. You think cowboys wear leather chaps to impress the horses? They may get dirty, but they won’t let function fail. Pick clothes that are climate appropriate, functional, fit and last years. 3. Pay for quality. Don’t shell out for a brand name because it’s cool. Do spend big bucks on good quality. Shoes, especially. Three hundred dollar shoes are worth it if you walk everywhere. 25 dollar shoes are fine if you don’t.
*This image isn’t an endorsement of cancer sticks, but to prove a point.
8. Care. Of all the rules above, this is the most important one. We idolize the bad-boy devil-be-damned characters because it looks so easy. Life doesn’t reward that type outside of fiction. Men didn’t fight duels after a pithy exchange of “meh!” You’re a man when you take life seriously. Your opponent will respect you for taking them seriously as well. You’ll draw admirers like flies. Why? Because only one in ten people in the world give a damn, if that.
Be in the minority.
Be a man.
Ronan Cray lives in New York City when he isn’t holed up in his writer’s shack in rural Pennsylvania. He penned the thriller “Red Sand” which earned him a place in “Top Ten New Horror Authors” by Horror Novel Reviews. Through frequent travels, he survived the frozen Neva, sandstorms in Dubai, the smog of China, and horse meat in Kazakhstan, though he prefers to work on his cabin. His next book, “Dust Eaters”, appears this summer. Follow his adventures at ronancray.blogspot.com.
There’s something else you should know. What Women Want From Men and How To Be A Gentleman.
[Featured image credit Rodrigo Maia / http://dribbble.com/shots/438562-The-hardest-job]
[Ron Swanson image credit NBC Parks and Recreation]
[Marlboro Man belongs to Philip Morris USA, a company that exists to profit from your poor health and death.]